What to do at 40?

         Why does 40 evoke such depressing ,seemingly life-altering emotions more than 30?(Haven't hit 50 so wait another 10 years for that post :).Forty is the milestone when your body says ..FTW..I give up..you are on your own!! The busy lifestyle with kids and work almost seems to be in Auto-Mode, they can take care of themselves.You have time to sit around and watch em grow.NOW its YOUR turn to be taken care of.
       

So you grab the scales(with wifi of course) and the tape measure..Reality..Your Body fat is way over 30..your wardrobe has those pesky  32 size pants collecting dust,a faint reminder of what once was..you feel tired after sitting in the office for 8 hours..you buy regular jeans and dockers pants..your older relatives are getting diagnosed with serious ailments or passing away..facebook reminds you  to do something special everyday..live for today..You ARE FORTY!Happy Birthday Old Timer.
Here's my list of things to do when you hit 40(no you cant do this at 30!!)

1. Get a Modern Haircut:Go with whats in fashion today.Dye it.Go short.
2. Take Those old pants(except 1) and thrown in storage:Why leave 1 ..we'll talk about that later.
3. Buy a Wi-Fi scale: So you can track your progress(Weight-Guru Scale At Amazon)
   
4. Balance your Nutrition:You are not DIETing..you are going to eat healthy..Smaller portions 5 times a day.This is a difficult one to change as we are used to 3 meals a day.For ex: Add a Snack of Fruits at 3PM...Start your day with Foods that have low Glycemic index(oats) so you stay less hungry until lunchtime..
5. Start Walking: In office take the stairs..Get a step counter( Fitbit ,Jawbone UP)..After work start with a 30 minute brisk walk(you should sweat)
6. Get your spouse on board:He or she is probably feeling the same way..so involve her..get her on board..give her some time away from kids.
7. I WANT TO BE HEALTHY: SAY It..Close your eyes and Say it Again..This is the most important mantra that will do you wonders,make you stay your course, reach farther with your goals and get your body and mind aligned for a fitter YOU!

Cheers

Birds Bees... and More?!?

I dreaded this day..Never been nervous about anything more than this..whew..Have been planning(thinking really) on this for a few years! 2 Things that made it difficult to open the topic was 1) The correct time for his age 2) I didn't have the experience with my Dad

       So For all prospective dad-gearing-up-for-this-speech,here goes..First find out if the school has done any talking about ,videos etc..Depending on the school this usually starts around the 4th grade..Then start by observing if your son is ready for it..Some visual clues included Vinay turning away from the TV when couples are kissing ..closing his eyes and making a UGHHH !!
       Second talking about relationships from school,like asking/talking about girls, girlfriends/boyfriend type things, girls whom he talks about(hates usually)
       I didn't choose the day to sit him down..but the situation arose when he was squirming about a female hygenic product and was getting that confused with an adult diaper..Voila.. got my opening to intervene..as "some" knowledge is dangerous..
      Nags Basically slipped out of the room..not for his sake..but she was too shy and coy about the "Talk".
The 15 minute ended with Vinay admitting "Can I go sleep now..I have been grossed out enough for 1 day"

Roja and more

Remembering Roja's music..one of the 1st movies I saw with Naags..never wondered that the music would come along with me as long as she does...Still feel so nostalgic about the music and those days..Talked to Mottai and that kinda evoked feelings about good ol college days...

Life is so faast..atleast feels that way..not stopping to enjoy a vacation or that call to your friend or reminiscing that memory will make that moment lost forever..As I march towards the 40's..gray beard(not white yet!!) I can  imagine what each of our  friends lives are going through and wonder if they  think of you .

I envy my in-laws,retired and united with their sisters and long time friends in the foothills of Ooty.getting to enjoy their second childhood,skyping with their grand kids..Will I ever get to that stage,I wonderWhere will my friends be when i am 50 or 60?Can you imagine SIXTY..damn so far yet so near!!!

Anyways..live life to its ful extent..you only live once..

How much to give?

     This week CNN posted the Top 10 CNN Heroes for 2010.You get to vote for the person ,as many times as you want ,you think has made a significant impact in various fields through their efforts and initiative.I found one whom we have been involved with and felt proud of it.Scientifically this is called "Helpers High"-endorphins release in your body which gives an elation (like being high) when you feel good/happy for donating to a cause.
     Reading and voting for each of those "entries" for this "competition" kinda empowers me ,like a reality show.Come to think of it.THIS is as real as it gets.The hard thing is for me is to prioritize which of these entrants get my vote. Therein lies the dilemma..Am I eligible ,worthy of making that decision?Does the one who comes 10th not deserve as much of my contribution or vote as the one who came first.
    The american tax payer contributes $3000(earning above $100K) .Sometimes charity does not mean money but volunteering and time for charitable activities,donating blood etc.We are doing neither of these to be in the average group.We plan to this year and choose charities here in the US and India.(again not that other countries deserve less).
    Reference :http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=content.view&cpid=736&print=1
Few of the organizations that we are involved with:

• http:/www.akshayatrust.org
• http://www.thulir.org
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
• http://www.butterflieschildrights.org/profile.php
• http://www.indiateam.org/ -Through this organization you can decide whom to help.A little more involved and needs resources in India to complete your project.We did a build of classroom benches and desks and utensils for midday meals.

Reading Hindu

      Reading the Hindu online version always transports me back to Chennai.The sections I mostly read Are by state-Tamilnadu and then drill down to Chennai,Coimbatore.The way Hindu captures each city's news is fascinating.These are not in-depth coverages,sometimes they leave you hanging,these are tidbits.At a glance under "Chennai",we get the Naattu Nadappu(as my mom used to say).
      Then we move onto the "In Chennai Today".This is my favorite..Over the years I have seen the tidbits under this section expand quite significantly.Sections under those are Religion,Culture,General.These provide information on recitals,competition,meetings,gatherings,functions.And depending on the season and festivals there is more to digest.
      What this gives me is a glimpse of  how people are changing,adapting to change in Chennai.The connection that i can establish,as though I am seeing this city morph and sometimes when they don't.I react to this in some way in my life here.It is like an observer,non-participant watching the time go by.

Are we good parents?

         This thought nags my mind every week...Are we doing the best we can to raise our children to their full potential?Is the "Best" I mentioned above the"Best" for the kids..or the what we perceive it to be?Should we constantly throw them into activities and see what sticks?Oh..the pressure..of not being certain that you are making the correct choices.
        This makes me wonder..did I make good choices in my life till now?Have I been successful in what I deemed to be important to my life?Am I making it difficult for my kids to make good choices?How does someone objectively measure the quality of life we provide for our kids?
        It is not only the everyday affect we have on our kids but the long-term effect that may be caused by my actions.Am I responsible for my kids actions in school,college and later in Life?Did I sow the seeds for her success/goals/ambitions?

Being a single parent

for 4 days and 3 nights was not something I volunteered for.But Vidya had to go out of town and so it happened.I hate being told what to do...but I did let her cook some side dishes(not That I couldn't do that,but I mostly prefer not to:).
       All the while in our house we play good cop- bad cop.When Vidya is disciplining the kids I play nice and talk normally and do not interfere.And Vice-versa.We try not to be angry or chiding at the same time.When she was away I had to make them follow the normal routine and enforce it at times.This time Sahana did not have Vidya to run to and surprise she actually listened to em the first time!.Surprise..surprise..so much for my parenting regime. Also I had to make some more rules..no games till you have snacks..and that worked too.I did manage  well(Vidya was annoyed that I did so and the house was still there when she came back).
      Now I really appreciate what single parents go through without support of relatives here..work,daycare,school,weekends,activities..I don't think the 4 days was an achievement at all since I was looking forward to Friday and this was temporary..I am glad she is here..still..with me:))

Fall colors and more

               Fall is my favorite season.The air is cool and crisp,the colors are amazing (on my way to work) and we get to visit farms and pick apples.My kids love the visit to the Apple and pumpkin farms.The thing is Apple farms waste about 20-25% apples that grow in a season.According to CT state law,once an apple falls to the ground it has to be disposed of and cannot be used even as animal fodder.Wouldn't it be nice to "catch" the apples b4 they hit the ground and process it ..maybe for cider.

               Pumpkin farms have acres of patches and and poeple can pick them up and are sold by the pound.They have an all you can carry competition for 20 bucks.There are hay rides and haunted ones to keep the kids interested.
              We got one and carved it ..came out pretty good for beginners.
 

Yearly goals-Sequel 2009

Last year I posted about my goal for 2009.

http://sankarsays.blogspot.com/2008/08/yearly-goals.html

     I succeeded in setting up my home theater..though not dedicated,nevertheless satisfying to my current demands:)I have tweaked to my hearts content (and wallet depth) and am truly happy to report..it is heavenly..But this hobby is obsessive and addictive and long ways to go before I am done with it.
    In march I took up photography.I can now say I can understand what National Geographic photographers go through in their mind!I understand Photography as a science which is important to mature to the next phase, practicing it as an art.A photo can be compositionally correct,optimally exposed and beautifully framed but to make it an art you have to have the soul and convey your thoughts through this visual to an observer..Now comes the challenge and the obsession to make it happen.So this will surely go on my list to pursue next year.

 

Do you have a Tiger in You?

          When talking to a colleague about Tiger woods..she suddenly asked me "Will you have an affair?"..My immediate response was "Have to ask Vidya about it"!!FTW..There is a fine line between Fantasy and reality when it comes to extra-marital affairs(EMA..new acronym..go figure:).Also it is one thing to have Fantasies with your spouse in it or just go random.Fantasy is just that-NOT REAL!!You can make some of it come alive with your significant other and thats a whole another post;))))
          Now back to EMA,My take is ,it is the thrill of the ride,the anticipation,the thought of the  rush rather than the ride itself(pun intended).It is supposed to be temporary else persistence will spoil the fun.Obviously the environment only adds to it..meaning the ease of access to such an activity.All of these are true for Tiger(and for others doing it or contemplating it)
          Physicality has nothing to do with it..reality is boring in this case and making unreal happen is the biggest addiction that makes one to go venture further!Now again different cultures might consider this differently..Physical contact might piss off someone while others might feel emotional deprivation is the cause.
          Some feel even Fantasizing is immoral..others are cool with it as long as you don't act on it..and thats that!

2009-Year of Sahana

Sahana is the highlight of this year..Watching a girl grow up is a different experience than Vinay..All the girly things she does surprises us the most..She went thorough a rough patch in spring with ear tubes ..Being used to Vinay , ahead of his age by a couple of years,made me expect the same..but realizing she is different ,changing my attitude really helped us to enjoy being in the moment and not looking to how she will be.
   Many days in the summer made me wish she would grow up and get out of certain habits..Some annoying ,but certainly very child like , traits would completely throw us off..U know ..eating habits..obstinacy..short attention to any activity..As we watched her go through that..I realised those were all my traits..my genes in full swing!!
    Fall made me realize she is growing up but in her own pace..and I thought  she was acting  mature..That made me miss her antics and theatrics from the early part of the year..(man I can never be satisfied..can I?)..I realized I do not want her to grow up!!!Thats a complete turn about in a matter of months.
    Winter is definitely my season with Christmas, snow man and holed up with family during snow days..I do feel Sahana has grown leaps in this year..but making an effort not to miss every day with her..Because as parents how much ever we wish our kids should grow up and become on their own..I do not want to miss going back to her arms when I pick her up from school or the sweet kisses during bedtime or the "Chorry" we are so often used to hearing.
  As Much as I look forward to her growing up I will cherish  2009  for a long time.