Being a single parent

for 4 days and 3 nights was not something I volunteered for.But Vidya had to go out of town and so it happened.I hate being told what to do...but I did let her cook some side dishes(not That I couldn't do that,but I mostly prefer not to:).
       All the while in our house we play good cop- bad cop.When Vidya is disciplining the kids I play nice and talk normally and do not interfere.And Vice-versa.We try not to be angry or chiding at the same time.When she was away I had to make them follow the normal routine and enforce it at times.This time Sahana did not have Vidya to run to and surprise she actually listened to em the first time!.Surprise..surprise..so much for my parenting regime. Also I had to make some more rules..no games till you have snacks..and that worked too.I did manage  well(Vidya was annoyed that I did so and the house was still there when she came back).
      Now I really appreciate what single parents go through without support of relatives here..work,daycare,school,weekends,activities..I don't think the 4 days was an achievement at all since I was looking forward to Friday and this was temporary..I am glad she is here..still..with me:))

Fall colors and more

               Fall is my favorite season.The air is cool and crisp,the colors are amazing (on my way to work) and we get to visit farms and pick apples.My kids love the visit to the Apple and pumpkin farms.The thing is Apple farms waste about 20-25% apples that grow in a season.According to CT state law,once an apple falls to the ground it has to be disposed of and cannot be used even as animal fodder.Wouldn't it be nice to "catch" the apples b4 they hit the ground and process it ..maybe for cider.

               Pumpkin farms have acres of patches and and poeple can pick them up and are sold by the pound.They have an all you can carry competition for 20 bucks.There are hay rides and haunted ones to keep the kids interested.
              We got one and carved it ..came out pretty good for beginners.
 

Yearly goals-Sequel 2009

Last year I posted about my goal for 2009.

http://sankarsays.blogspot.com/2008/08/yearly-goals.html

     I succeeded in setting up my home theater..though not dedicated,nevertheless satisfying to my current demands:)I have tweaked to my hearts content (and wallet depth) and am truly happy to report..it is heavenly..But this hobby is obsessive and addictive and long ways to go before I am done with it.
    In march I took up photography.I can now say I can understand what National Geographic photographers go through in their mind!I understand Photography as a science which is important to mature to the next phase, practicing it as an art.A photo can be compositionally correct,optimally exposed and beautifully framed but to make it an art you have to have the soul and convey your thoughts through this visual to an observer..Now comes the challenge and the obsession to make it happen.So this will surely go on my list to pursue next year.

 

Do you have a Tiger in You?

          When talking to a colleague about Tiger woods..she suddenly asked me "Will you have an affair?"..My immediate response was "Have to ask Vidya about it"!!FTW..There is a fine line between Fantasy and reality when it comes to extra-marital affairs(EMA..new acronym..go figure:).Also it is one thing to have Fantasies with your spouse in it or just go random.Fantasy is just that-NOT REAL!!You can make some of it come alive with your significant other and thats a whole another post;))))
          Now back to EMA,My take is ,it is the thrill of the ride,the anticipation,the thought of the  rush rather than the ride itself(pun intended).It is supposed to be temporary else persistence will spoil the fun.Obviously the environment only adds to it..meaning the ease of access to such an activity.All of these are true for Tiger(and for others doing it or contemplating it)
          Physicality has nothing to do with it..reality is boring in this case and making unreal happen is the biggest addiction that makes one to go venture further!Now again different cultures might consider this differently..Physical contact might piss off someone while others might feel emotional deprivation is the cause.
          Some feel even Fantasizing is immoral..others are cool with it as long as you don't act on it..and thats that!

2009-Year of Sahana

Sahana is the highlight of this year..Watching a girl grow up is a different experience than Vinay..All the girly things she does surprises us the most..She went thorough a rough patch in spring with ear tubes ..Being used to Vinay , ahead of his age by a couple of years,made me expect the same..but realizing she is different ,changing my attitude really helped us to enjoy being in the moment and not looking to how she will be.
   Many days in the summer made me wish she would grow up and get out of certain habits..Some annoying ,but certainly very child like , traits would completely throw us off..U know ..eating habits..obstinacy..short attention to any activity..As we watched her go through that..I realised those were all my traits..my genes in full swing!!
    Fall made me realize she is growing up but in her own pace..and I thought  she was acting  mature..That made me miss her antics and theatrics from the early part of the year..(man I can never be satisfied..can I?)..I realized I do not want her to grow up!!!Thats a complete turn about in a matter of months.
    Winter is definitely my season with Christmas, snow man and holed up with family during snow days..I do feel Sahana has grown leaps in this year..but making an effort not to miss every day with her..Because as parents how much ever we wish our kids should grow up and become on their own..I do not want to miss going back to her arms when I pick her up from school or the sweet kisses during bedtime or the "Chorry" we are so often used to hearing.
  As Much as I look forward to her growing up I will cherish  2009  for a long time.

Housing and more

There were(still are) a group of people who actually predicted the housing bust and the current depression-like era back in 2006.People like Peter Schiff, Nouriel Roubini and Warren Buffet(not in so many direct words though).What did the junta do?Sat back and cashed out their home equities and refinanced to ever higher loans.
(http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/)

Our homes turned into instant ATM's for fast withdrawals.All we cared about was where to go on vacation and how to beat your neighbor in Home improvement projects.

Has this taught us a lesson..importance of savings,gravity(markets see-saw) and writing IOU's to Social security and medicare debt.Nooo..we went ahead and walked away from the loans(foreclosure).The question is WHO pays for all the money that we spent.In this case it happens to be the US government and they will continue to do so for years to come.

In hindsight if I had only been an idea-doer and sold my house in March 2006 and not just been an idea creator(planned to move down south,searched for jobs,identified the schools etc),I might have been sitting on a horde of cash.Thinking about it now I would feel sad for the sucker who might have purchased my property at such an inflated price and lost his savings now(down 25% since the peak).So good karma for me..yea!

This decade of lost savings,retirement funds,home equity,jobs will take a decade or 2 to overcome.Unlike the 1929 depression hopefully we don't start a war with some nation to replenish the lost wealth.

I recently bought a BMW..

...the BMW of mini-vans,that is the Honda Odyssey.Last year with Sahana and the arrival of in-laws on a regular basis we took the American way to Upgrade.We had a Honda CRV,decent vehicle but cannot seat more than 4..which was fine till then.
So I suggested a 3 series used BMW..

"Hmm" said Vidya,which meant I was wrong and she was going to prove it too.It totally did not make sense to sell an SUV and buy a sedan!!--Agreed.We have to go in 2 cars all the time!!--Agreed

Me--In a beemer you can go from 0-60 in 4.3 secs,handle curves elegantly at 60mph, pull out of the signal first and pick up chicks at clubs(I just threw that in...hehe.)

After a thorough,deliberate , financial and usability analysis we bought a Honda Odyssey.I can do 0-60 in 13.5 secs(not that anyone is there to time it),go around the curve at 60mph(whew!!..close call),I wait for red signal in a single lane(yea..i'm always first to pull out) and pick up Sahana at the Daycare(the only chick I care about anyways!!)

After a year of driving around,I use the Odyssey to my office,trips,grocery shopping,Home depot runs,karate class pickups and pretty much ALL the time.Really comfortable,satellite Radio and tons of space(packs 7 adults+1kid).

Bottomline..middle-aged,cant-let-go-of-college-years',married-with-kids men go for the "BMW of Minivans" and still feel masculine about it.

Death of Communism in India

Surprise!Surprise..the people have spoken..the verdict is in.Poverty and communist principles have no future in India.The host of Left parties were routed in their homelands,west bengal and kerala."Change" was the keyword and feeling for the people of these 2 states.Through out the country though, awareness was the motivation for going back to a one-party rule.

This is not the congress of yesteryear where they only said they wanted to eradicate poverty and make pro-poor choices..but they didn't.In the last 2 decades India's official poor ratio has improved by 50%.Now that is huge for a country of 1 Billion.So what has happened in the last decade that has made this transition for India?

Technology and thereby an awareness to compete.We were satisfied with blaming the Nuclear Deal, mall-culture, IT youths earning more etc.But it is this same reasons why the country has grown so much. It is the era of Information sharing be it the common SMS culture or the right to information Act.

I was always so dismayed by the fact that we Indians who produce the best minds there is in the technical world ,who design the best software on the planet were not able to do the same in their own country.Now I am convinced that this process which started with the 1999 Y2K problem has snow balled into this unstoppable thirst for information.From the serial-watching housewife to the tea-boy (in slumdog millionaire) have one thing in common.--Access to information!!They get it through TV,SMS, Satellite networks,Internet.

The general populace in India has increased their sense of awareness.The youngest generation always gets it!!When I was in college it was the choice to setup home anywhere in the world but still be indian.Now it the chance to be at Home in India and be yourself. From this awareness has come development and the clear goal of the government to show progress and measure performance.All these terms that we are so familiar with in Information Technology.

There is no looking back now.No more Grand schemes that are only in paper but local developments which show value and progress.This really proves that Information is key to the development of any nation(or a project).

Hello
This is my first mobile blog.it isalittle cumbersome to type,but it does let me post from anywhere within 150 words per text message

Joining the Millions

Of Homeowners whose house values have been depleted ..of course!Today I found out that my house is worth exactly the same amount I paid for it in Dec 2003(source:Zillow.com).After a peak in 2006 that is a 26% drop in a moderately less affected part of the country.The 5 year annualized decline of Median House Value in CT is..yep you got it..0.0%.This kind of puts a damper on our lifestyle and we start thinking with "What-if" scenarios.It does look frightening when we have to plan for the worst case.
I refer to the "House" and not "Home".Home is something that you build with your family and the equity in that investment has grown manifold with Sahana and Vinay providing us with lots of "gains".Our losses though are limited to in no particular order- Sleeping Late on Saturdays(and Sundays),Going to the Movie Theater and Bank Balances.

Ciao

Life in india-Sequel

Now I have come to realize that terrorism is here to stay..Folks are encouraged to take out "terror insurance" in India and I believe that is becoming popular..All my comments from the previous post still hold true..No clear mandate on how to handle terrorist attack situations or to gather intelligence and thwart them before they happen..What is missing is the sharing of information across all law enforcement agencies and with public..
A case file in Tamilnadu against an offender is not known to the cops in Mumbai..unless they have a special investigative force to go to Chennai and get the information..This is BS***.In a country which has the best IT minds I am saddened to see that we don't use the same technology that we have imparted to others all over the world.
We do need empathetic leaders(read Manmohan Singh) but we also need hardened rightist to lay down the law and follow it all costs.
This is just the beginning of a new era in Indian culture..the bomb culture..it is here to stay..we have to live with it..but we should not ignore this like poverty,AIDS,politicians,Scandals..but we need to fight it.

Life in India

Terrorist attacks, security lapses, economic downturn, Droughts and floods..Indians can pick one of these as their choice when eking out a living and trying to support their family.These are some hard choices people have to make everyday.Actually these are not optional you have to choose one (or more if you are lucky)!!
That's why the farmers of Yavatmal in Maharashtra, chose to end their lives gracefully.Now in a bid as to not offend the Laws of the constitution and the indian state , who has bestowed the rights to decent living(?!??), they appealed to the President to grant permission to do so.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/23_farmers_seek_Prez_permission_to_end_lives
/rssarticleshow/3491699.cms

What is happening is a total lack of leadership.I mean there are NO leaders at all.No mandate on national security,no comprehensive policy on Natural Disaster Recovery for Citizens, no absolute rules on Taxation and poverty eradication.Nada..Nothing..Zilch..Zero.

In-laws

When I mentioned to my colleagues that my in-laws were going to spend the summer(a mere 3 months) with us..most of my lunch-table-diversity-club went..OMG..You poor thang!!Hmm..that was not a reaction you get when you talk about elders(be it in-laws or parents).Well the thing is..Americans are much more conscious about independence and freedom than credit card debt and savings.
We in India accept this as social norm and families are close knit with 3 generations living under one roof.Of course we do have the newer generation living across India on their own..but this might be due to better opportunities and not mandated by a dislike for family traditions.
Anyways we had a great time and the kids enjoyed the grandparents company.I think for the next generation a good dose of living with extended family is a lesson in sharing and connecting and living for more than just themselves.That's why we want to let the kids have their summer in India next year and hope they come back with much more than they left here with.

Yearly Goals

Unlike others I make up my goal for the year ,around April..Why?After spending 6 months in the cold I am ready to go waste some money and also that's the time my company passes me some Bonus moolah(woo hoo).This year my goal was to setup a true 5.1 channel Home theater.
Now speakers and receivers can cost from the low thousands to the upper tens of thousands.Obviously if budget and room size were not a limit(and If I were not married or had kids) this would have been an easier task..easier because there are literally 200+ speaker makers to choose from.And the worst part is you have to listen to the exact speakers IN your home before you can buy them!!!
What started as a goal has become an obsession,but at least I can fulfill my goal this year.AND I DID..This is awesome..Movies sounds like we are in a theater..Music is very satisfying(and I listen to a lot of those) from Alan Jackson to
Yuvan shankar Raja..
So what is my goal for next year..Save up..America is going belly up..and cash is King..We have cut down on all holiday shopping and birthday gifts(except for the kids)...Invest the savings for better times ,hopefully in 2 years..

Sahana..

I love to startup and shut down my laptop..Cause these are 2 moments I can stare at the picture of Sahana-Vinay on my desktop..it is great feeling..I would've just dropped Sahana of at the daycare 10 mins ago..but still their lit-up faces makes my day..

In the evening just the thought of seeing the both of them is precious..Albeit after spending 2 hours trying to avoid clashes between them,feeding(or atleast trying),giving a bath,bedtime story,preparing for next day,getting vinay ready for school the next morn..Ahhh..I wait to go to the office..Only to stare at my desktop and forget all those chores!!

Back to college

I had enrolled in Online course through my company for a Masters degree..

2 semesters have passed..Got a few B's(and one A)..learning something new is always fun and this is no different..only this time it is all through the web..listen to lectures online,get together in virtual rooms with colleagues to discuss projects,open-book exams(hence the B..illaina!!)..Enna no new people to "meet"..you can only judge someone by ones discussions...There is no presumptions about physicality,race,color,appearance and so on..it is just a voice..

Sometimes it is just 2 boring..but when you can relate to what you learn at work thats when I retain some of it atleast. Looking forward to the summer classes and hope in the end of the course I can use what I learned..unlike the Bachelors..

Good Night

gary

Doctors and skiers

                 Nope ..they dont have anything in common. Just that we have run to Sahana's doctor in the last 6 months more than we did for Vinay till now!! Ear infections,cold,allergies,ear infections.. the cycle repeats.We have been there so often that the doctor quipped that we missed 1 week during New Years..I had to remind him he was on vacation and we saw someone else.

Nags and Vinay took to skiing during christmas and they loved it.Me..I tried Snowboarding and OMG.. it is much easier than skiing. The thing is you don't have to control 2 hands(with 2 poles) and 2 feet(with 2 skis) to follow 1 mind. And you are not staring head first into the eye-popping slope,you are looking sideways.. which means you can no not-look if u don't want to.

I have had enough of being cooped up inside and this was a good break.

Heres Nags.

Skull & Bones on Cigarette Packs

The Indian Government decided today(oct 9th) to mandate pictorial depiction of the dangers of smoking on Cigarette packs.There should be a skull & bones symbol along with oral-cancer depcitions.Also the words "Smoking Kills" should be imprinted on the side and should cover 50% of the printed area.

In contrast,in the US we dont have such signs.Smoking kills 700000 Indians every year(only 400000 in US).Even the words on the box states something akin to "Smoking causes Lung Cancer and MAY complicate pregnancy".So it is a step in the right direction for India..I guess.

The highest influence on smokers is during the College days.These youngsters dont buy packs but in singles(or how many ever they can afford at a time).So the general smokers will avoid seeing the signs and pictures warning against smoking.SO how can the government reach them.Make mandatory advertisements to show that 50% of the area be covered with the warnings.

6 sixes in Twenty20

Cricket is back to its glory..i love it..After only reading the news about Yuvraj Singh's 6 sixes..I missed watching it!!Youtube saves my day..and here it is..

Flintoff must have really pissed him off..

Solli..solli adiche maathree irukku...

Gotto love this game ..again.:)

Being a Parent

Time: Monday Morn 6:45AM
Loc : Kitchen Table

Me: Vinay eat quickly..bus will be here in a few minutes..
Vinay:Ohhkaayyy...
Me: Drink all the water in the bottle else your skin will become old faster than you..
V:??
Me: Sahana (daughter of 14 months) eats more than you..
V:NO.. she does not!
Me: YES..she does.If only you had gone to bed early..you wont be so tired!!
V:..I am NOT tired(voice quivers a bit)
Me:(in softer tone)..Ok..ok..I meant you will feel very refreshed if you go to bed early..
V leaving the table...
Me:Put on your uniform..its getting late..
V:I have to go to the potty...
Me:Yeah!!..finish quickly..
After 2 mins..knocking on toilet door..

R u done..
No daddy..
2 more minutes..bus will be here..
Ohhkaayyy!!!

I cant believe that I have turned into..none other than my dad..same concerns,same annoying tone and the same love that he had...If only I had realised this to the same extent as my son does..

History repeats itself..